Helping loved ones with depression

Q: My elderly mother, who used to have a positive attitude, now has a hard time talking to us when we visit the nursing home where she has been living for a year. Is depression a normal part of aging, and what can we do to help it?

Focus on the Malaysian Family: Unfortunately, depression can be very common among people in your mother’s situation, but it is not considered a normal part of aging. Poor physical functioning, increased dependence, chronic pain, loss and fear of death can trigger the onset of depression, which is more than just temporary sadness.

Depression should not be taken for granted, even in later life. In general, older people are less likely to seek help than younger people, often due to growing up in a closed-minded period. However, blocked emotions can become toxic if they are allowed to fester.

First, be aware that certain medications can cause depression as a side effect. Review your mother’s medications with her doctor to see if she is taking anything that may be causing her depression.

After that, support your mother and encourage her. Spend time with him during difficult times and remind him how much he means to you.

Encourage him to reminisce about events and people from the past as this can strengthen him.

Ask friends, neighbors and family to visit her regularly at the nursing home. Include him in family gatherings whenever possible to give him something to look forward to.

Finally, seek professional help. Although some older people are reluctant to trust mental health professionals, early treatment is important to prevent more serious problems. Most people who are treated for depression, including the elderly, show improvement within a few weeks.

Q: With two young children at home, my husband and I find it difficult to have any time for physical intimacy. We are always interrupted as soon as we meet for a while. What can we do?

Focus on the Malaysian Family: Most couples with children can agree – sex can be a real challenge when small children are in the house. You never know when someone might be slipping outside the bedroom door.

There are many ways to keep the spark alive. Start by discussing your expectations with your partner. Women often feel very anxious about being “found” by their children, so it’s important to work together to create a good environment for both of you.

Think of ways to avoid detection. Can you put a lock on the bedroom door? Perhaps you can also use an old baby monitor as an early warning system.

You may need to be creative, such as arranging times for the children to visit a family member or friend. A play day for the kids can turn into a “play day” for mom and dad.

Despite your best efforts, surprising obstacles may still occur. It is important to protect the innocence of your children as much as possible.

You and your partner may want to agree on an answer beforehand, such as, “After all these years, we still love each other and sometimes enjoy spending time together”.

Having children does not mean saying goodbye to the intimacy of marriage.

It is important to make time for sex, even during parenting, as it is an important part of a healthy marriage.

This The article is contributed by Focus on the Family Malaysia, a non-profit organization dedicated to supporting and strengthening the family. Our signature bonding event for couples, “Date Night”, is back on Saturday, Oct 5. Join us to create unforgettable memories that will deepen your bond and intimacy as husband and wife. . Register at family.org.my/datenight. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com